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  • Writer's pictureMegan Gilmore

Not Defined

Updated: Jan 3, 2020



This topic has been stirring in me and as I talk with other amazing women who feel the same it grows. I have wanted to share for a while now, but have put it off. But here we are and I have to be honest with y’all. There are many times I dread meeting new people or catching up with those who I haven’t seen in a long time because most conversations will lead to one question...

What is my relationship status? Am I married? Am I dating? Is there a potential man to date? I know that was more than one...but trust me I have been in this conversation and all those questions get asked.

At times my answer seems to disappoint those who have asked. For a long time, I let their opinion get to me...define me. I know some of you might not believe this, but my relationship status will change the opinion that some people have of me. However, God has been so good to speak truth deep in my soul. To the deepest parts that ache when I am in the quiet and stillness of being alone.

Singleness does not define a person. It is not the identity of a person. It may be their current relationship status...but it doesn’t give their value or worth. Our identity is in Christ, not the relationship status.

Ephesians 2:10 tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” His masterpiece there is no qualification on that. There is no relationship box that needs to be checked. Or labels that need to define who we are. We are defined by believing in Jesus. Believe that He created each one of us as His masterpiece. He created each of us with unique gifts and abilities for Him. Let Him define you. Let His words be what shapes your everything.

He has a plan and a purpose for you. He “planned for us long ago.” He has a book with everything written in it for you. Don’t let the enemy distract you from your purpose by allowing the relationship status to keep you stuck.

You are a masterpiece that was created in God’s image. He has such great plans for you. Do not let society define you. Allow God’s love, mercy, and grace to give you every definition you need to express who you are.

Hold strong to these truths:

You are not defined by relationship status - God defines you

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

You are not alone - God is always with you

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

The best is yet to come - God has amazing plans for your life

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

If you are not single but have stuck with me through this, I want you to know that your words matter. Be careful what you say to other women. Love, embrace, encourage, uplift, and value all all stages in life.

To my beautiful single sisters in Christ. Use this time and season to press closely into Jesus. We can never have this time back. He wants to do more in your life than you can even imagine. Don’t let the status of single define who you are.

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